This just in - a new Tenet!

    "Don't be a jerk." 

Thanks to CB for one of the new tenets of Mattism (ok, she maybe didn't make that up, but it fits), soon to be populated in this space. It's been a while.

Mattism Relaunched in Blog Form!

Hello Mattists everywhere, and visitors. There are quite a few additions to this revision, even some subtle changes to the first 30 or so "Original Tenets."

As always, credit is given where I stole stuff. NOTE: “Bacon is the one true meat” has been deprecated from an actual tenet of Mattism to simple culinary belief.

Mattism is an Agile and open-source belief system, with a fast and responsive clerical staff; A git respository should be forthcoming for forks and modifications. Please comment with your thoughts; your contributions may make their way into future releases of this slowest-growing religion in the world!

An incremental update should be released soon; for now, the existing release should be compatible with most major systems of belief, at least when those systems are used to spec; unauthorized hacks and modifications to your belief system may introduce incompatibilities with Mattism - please refer to the original documentation for that system for guidance in identifying and overcoming such issues.

The Tenets of Mattism (rev.012511 RC)

1) The cosmic joke is everywhere. Learn to laugh, even when you are the punchline.

2) Fate and responsibility exist in equal measures.

2.5) This too shall pass. Whatever it is, good or bad, it shall pass. Like a kidney stone, maybe, but don't get too attached to it.

3) Nothing is truly random (you just might not be privy to the explanations)

4) Everything in moderation, including moderation.

5) You need to have faith. What you have faith IN is up to you.

6) Having stuff can be really fun, but don’t get hung up on it – it’s just stuff.

7) Money is just coupons for stuff. Don’t get hung up on it – it’s barely even stuff.

8) Believe what comes from inside as well as what comes from outside. Try to know the difference.

9) We’re all looking for the same thing, we just use different words, symbols and personal neuroses to try and reach it.

10) Practice diplomacy. Then perform it.

11) Know thyself. Love thyself. Get together and have coffee and a nice chat with thyself.

12) Love thy neighbor as thyself, with some caveats for masochists.

13) Honesty and communication avoid a lot of problems. As George Burns said, “Honesty and sincerity are the key. And if you can fake that, you got it made.”

14) You are a unique and special individual. Enjoy it, but don’t let it go to your head.

15) No single solution for anything can work for everyone, especially religion and politics.

16) Do your best to know how much you don’t know.

17) Ask for help. You deserve it.

18) The one who sees a problem is the one responsible for dealing with it, in whatever form that takes. Annoying, but true – awareness has its drawbacks ;-)

19) Pick your battles, and know when to delegate and when to back down.

20) Grow up – but not too much. Real life exists somewhere between childhood and adulthood.

21) It’s ok to be mad, sad, depressed or frustrated. Just don’t overdo it.

22) Make mistakes. Learn from them. As the Dalai Lama says, “When you lose, don't lose the lesson. “ and “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck”

23) Every now and then, make sure to do something that THEY would consider stupid, irresponsible, or downright insane.

24) Music, art and literature are every bit as important as science, math and history, if not moreso... but you should know a little about all of them.

25) Remember that guilt and stress are self-imposed and unnecessary. That shouldn’t keep you from practicing #33.

26) Respect your elders. Respect your youngers, too – neither of them is as stupid as you think when you are the other one.

27) Life can hurt… but sometimes that’s just your ego.

28) Have expectations. Just don’t depend on the outcomes.

29) Gratitude works, try it. Thanks is much more successful than begging.

30) Be here now. Enjoy yourself. Life isn’t always easy, but it’s all you’ve got right now.

31) Sleep is a surprisingly effective substitute for stimulants (this theory is still in testing stages).

32) You have just as much right to be here as anyone else, sometimes more. God don't make no junk. (thanks to Naomi F. for that one)

33) Be responsible. Take responsibility.

34) Be open-minded and tolerant. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s intolerance.

35) YOU ARE LOVED. Figure out how to deal with it.

36) Actual mileage may vary.

Addendum

And some very relevant words from the Dalai Lama that I hereby claim in the name of Mattism:


• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly (related to Mattism #4).

• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. (#33)

• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

• Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

• Be gentle with the earth.

• Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

• Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.


And one last one from Eleanor Roosevelt:

• Do one thing every day that scares you.

Mattism For Beginners (archival)

MATTISM (rev. 091609)

(NOTE: This posting is from a few years back, and as a relaunching of Mattism online, this post contains some tenets that have been altered or even deprecated. I will shortly post a more updated version).

Mattism has been my attempt to codify some of my core beliefs into a single document for my own edification, reflection, and enjoyment. Since starting Mattism, I discovered how Unitarian Universalism jibes nicely with both Mattism and Judaism, and I have found a comfortable home there... but Mattism still remains at the center of my believe system. It is subject to change at any time, and it has... though things seem to have begun to solidify in the 17 years since I founded the practice. All of these tenets should be taken with a strong dose of common sense, and perhaps your own personal grain of salt (see tenet #32).

The Tenets of Mattism:

Mattism is open and accepting - the only thing it does not tolerate is intolerance (except perhaps against really terrible drivers; I need to add a tenet or amendment or something in here for that one). All with an open mind, an interesting thought or two and a smile are welcome to join.

As of right now, my membership consists of one adherent - me. That's all I need, but if you like this philosophy, feel free live by it. If not, make up your own.


1) The cosmic joke is everywhere. Learn to laugh, even when you are the punchline.

2) Fate and responsibility exist in equal measures.

3) Nothing is truly random (you just might not be privy to the explanations)

4) Everything in moderation, including moderation

5) You need to have faith. What you have faith IN is not as important.

6) Having stuff can be really fun, but don’t get hung up on it – it’s just stuff.

7) Money is just coupons for stuff. Don’t get hung up on it – it’s barely even stuff.

8) Believe what comes from inside as well as what comes from outside. Try to know the difference.

9) We’re all looking for the same thing, we just use different words, symbols and personal neuroses to try and reach it.

10) Practice diplomacy.

11) Know thyself. Love thyself. Get together and have coffee and a nice chat with thyself.

12) Love thy neighbor as thyself (ok, so I plagiarized that one).

13) Honesty and communication avoid a lot of problems.

14) You are a unique and special individual. Enjoy it, but don’t let it go to your head.

15) No single solution for anything can work for everyone, especially religion and politics.

16) Know how much you don’t know.

17) Ask for help. You deserve it.

18) The one who sees a problem is the one responsible for dealing with it, in whatever form that takes. Annoying, but true – awareness has its drawbacks ;-)

19) Pick your battles, and know when to delegate and when to back down.

20) Grow up – but not too much. Real life exists somewhere between childhood and adulthood.

21) It’s ok to be mad, sad, depressed or frustrated. Just don’t overdo it.

22) Make mistakes. Learn from them.

23) Every now and then, make sure to do something that THEY would consider stupid, irresponsible, or downright insane.

24) Music, art and literature are every bit as important as science, math and history, if not moreso... but you should know a little about all of them.

25) Remember that guilt and stress are self-imposed and unnecessary.

26) Respect your elders. Respect your youngers, too – neither of them is as stupid as you think when you are the other one.

27) Life can hurt… but sometimes that’s just your ego.

28) Have expectations. Just don’t depend on the outcomes.

29) Gratitude works, try it. Thanks is much more successful than begging.

30) Be here now. Enjoy yourself. Life isn’t always easy, but it’s all you’ve got right now.

31) YOU ARE LOVED. Deal with it.

32) Actual mileage may vary.

33) Bacon is the one true meat. Others are ok, though.